Friday, February 7, 2014

The Downsides of Being in the X-Men

Marvel’s X-Men was the franchise that kicked off the superhero movie trend, way back in 2000.  They’ve been a team in the comics since the 1960s.  Led by telepathic Professor X, they represent a team of mutants with extraordinary gifts that fight for good causes.  They can be a metaphor for homophobia, racism, religious fervor, or just how difficult it is be a teenager.  Being on a team like this has some serious downsides too.  The Nation’s Journal is here to examine some of them.
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1.  Head to Head
The first thing you’ll notice about being on a team of super-powered teenagers is the fact that everyone will let their powers go to their heads.  Teenagers are awful to deal with on the best of days, so giving them the ability to shoot flames or lasers will help absolutely nothing.  Everyone will clash regardless of ability, so the heightened ability will really just make it easier to clash.  There’s a serious precedent for why the team generally has a “no powers at home” rule in place.
2.  Power Trip
Speaking of power, prepare for some insecurities.  The guy who has the power to freeze himself and those around him is on the same team as the guy who happens to just have big feet.  The woman who can control any and all weather patterns is on the same team as the guy who happens to make playing cards explode.  Some members of every team are less useful than others, and this stands out when your abilities manifest in spectacular and uncanny ways.
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3.  Safe & Sound
If you’re a mutant, you don’t really have a choice but to go to Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.  The problem with joining up with the X-Men is they come with 50 years of built up enemy accumulation, not to mention whatever alternate dimension and time travel troubles they’ve gotten themselves into.  It could be your first day of mutant high school, and the magnetic megalomaniac and his flying asteroid haven could come crashing down on your head.
4.  Crisis on Infinite Identities
The most humiliating thing for a young person is a bad nickname, like Fish or Stink-trousers.  For the X-Men, that’s their call sign on the official records.  Cool names are things like Storm, Wolverine, Rogue.  Those are great names for fighting the forces of evil.  Names like Cable, Iceman, or Maggot are just lame or dorky or trying too hard.  You can try to change your identity, but all that really does is make people forget who you are.  Add in a predictably lame costume, and you’re sunk.

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