Friday, February 7, 2014

4 Best Fast Food Treats

Fast food is great.  Everyone loves it, whether they admit it or not.  Even the nuttiest of health nuts will cave if you wave a piece of deep fried greasy goodness in front of their face.  It’s something so magic it goes all the way to our DNA.  The human body knows it needs fats and salts, so really, fast food is doing you a fovor by power packing that stuff into your body.  In celebration of the great American treasure that is the fast food industry, here’s the best and why they are so good.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Guacamole_Pepper-Jack_Burger.jpg
1.  Burgers!
Steaks are great.  1 cow = 1 steak.  What’s even better?  Burgers.  Burgers are made from bits of a bunch of cows.  1000 cows = 1000 steaks.  It’s simple math.  Burgers are like a meat plate for a wonderful salad.  Throw lettuce, tomatoes, onions, avocado, whatever you want on top.  You can pick any kind of cheese, from american to parmesan to cheddar.  They all turn out wonderful between those two fresh baked buns of goodness.  Your mouth is watering right now.
2.  Fries!
Potatoes are a staple food of America.  Given how many potatoes Americans eat, the fractions come together to basically say that 1 in every 7 Americans is a potato.  Take that 1/7 of Americans, cut them up, deep fry them, add some slat and ketchup, and you have the tasty treat known as a french fry.  These can be eaten by the thousands if you’re not paying attention.  They come in big, small, steak, and so on.  There’s a french fry for every single occasion, happy or sad.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Caramel_milkshake_in_Stillwater.jpg
3.  Shakes!
Milk is a great American drink.  It comes from cows, and we love cows.  They also give us burgers and steaks (see above).  A shake is what happens when you take milk, which a divine treat on its own, and then say to yourself, “This needs to be colder, thicker, and with more sugar!”  That is success in a sentence.  It’s drinkable with a straw, because who has time for spoons?  Lazy people.  Shake drinkers are people on the go, and we are winning it.  Hard.  No holds barred.
4.  Chicken!
Now hold on, we know that cows are boss.  But chickens?  Yes chickens.  They pull the weight that cows can’t quite do.  A chicken sandwich doesn’t have the variety and aura of a good burger, but it’s much more utilitarian.  Chicken is something that everyone will eat, even vegetarians (probably).  Chicken can be baked or grilled or fried.  you can even lie and claim it’s healthy and the government can’t stop you.  Chicken will do the job when a burger just can’t.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_sandwich
5.  Dishonorable Mention: Fish
Please don’t eat fast food fish.  It’s weird, ok?  Unless it’s a restaurant themed around fish, their fish will be terrible and embarrassing.  Fish in a fast food environment sadly doesn’t get the care and attention it deserves.  It won’t prove as fun and filling as our our other options.  The flavor winds up washed out and off putting.  A fast food fish sandwich is what you get an ex as a post-breakup gift.  It’s what you get for a white elephant Christmas.  just please don’t eat the fish.

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