5 Things to Do with Unwanted Christmas Gifts

These are the gifts that never should have been given.  Sometimes you really don’t want what someone got you.  We’re talking about sports jerseys for teams that don’t exist any more, or a VHS tape of Event Horizon, or a pushy religious or anti-religious book.  There are things to do with bad gifts, and that’s a great thing.  Gifts aren’t really created or destroyed, but they can be changed.

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1.  Donate

Take your unwanted gifts elsewhere and drop them off.  Donate them officially through a recognized charity of your choosing.  Or just toss them off a bridge somewhere and say you’re donating to the ground, or the fish.  Just try to give them away.  Giving makes one feel good, and everyone wants to feel good.  You certainly won’t from those gifts.

2.  Trash

You could also trash them.  Maybe you really didn’t want that paint set, or those off-brand Legos.  Just go out to your nearest park with a hammer, or you car, and trash the heck out of the unwanted gifts.  Destroy them, maybe play some 80s speed metal while you do it.  The thrill from physically manifesting your aggression will really lift your mood.

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3.  Toast

Are you cold?  Maybe you have some strange fixation with light?  Take the gifts with you to a campsite, or the beach, or any controlled environment, and use them for kindling.  Firewood is very expensive, so you’re gonna save yourself a boat load.  This way, the awful gifts are still useful to you.  There’s always a use for something.

4.  Build

Use your unwanted gifts as building material.  Find the room in your dwelling most in need of an additional wall, or maybe some insulation.  Take that Jai alai game kit and the knock off version of the Nintendo Wii and start work on your neato fort inside your house.  Keep it going for a few years and you can have yourself a full on haunted house.

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5.  Regift

Think of it as gift musical chairs.  Next year, take every awful gift you got and give it to someone else who got you an awful gift.  You save money, no longer have the awful gifts, and the offending parties have been offended in kind.  It’s a petty and ungrateful thing to do, but it’s the way of the world.  Get ready for next year right away.