Mashed potatoes are the best. There’s no question. Some people will say other foods like Turkey or Cranberries are the best Thanksgiving food. They are wrong, do not listen. Here’s why these mushy taters are the tops, in no particular order.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mash_Potatoes.jpg
1. America
Potatoes are the most American food. There are other foods just as American, but for this article it’s totally the potato. They are hardy, and hardworking, and love freedom, just like America. I pledge allegiance to the potato, for which it grows.
2. Taste
Mashed potatoes are delicious. The right blend of salty, fulfilling, and savory. You can add butter, or spices, but it will always reign potato. There’s no denial of its goodness. You must embrace the potato, and accept it into your tummy.
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3. Cooperation
Mashed potatoes are the universal back up. No matter what food you present, mashed potatoes are there, ready to back up the main item in a fight, or help the main item talk to girls. If they had wallets, mashed potatoes would totally lend you 20 bucks.
4. Art
Close Encounters of the Third Kind is a classic. Never mind the aliens or the music. It’s all about the mashed potatoes. Aliens came and made Devil’s Tower to look like mashed potatoes. Even Richard Dreyfuss points that out. It means something.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24174659@N06/5150211079/
5. Gravy.
Gravy. Gravy Gravy Gravy. It’s almost as fun to read as it is to eat. Gravy goes on mashed potatoes. Gravy is like soup, but without all the pesky nutrients and veggies. You should thank gravy for being easy to digest, and friends with potatoes.
6. Plenty
There’s always enough mashed potatoes. There will never not be enough. Everyone can have there fill. Wars will end. Love will triumph. Children will laugh. Potatoes are the glue holding the world together. Be thankful for mashed potatoes.
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