5 Dynamic Thoughts From A New Runner

The new year is always a great time for a new you.  You like yourself, but there’s always room for an upgrade.  Many people have started to workout and get in shape for the new year.  Running is a great way to stay fit, and it doesn’t have the hassle of expensive memberships or equipment.  Everyone starts a beginner, and there’s a few common thoughts shared among beginning runners.  Read this for a detailed summary of the runner’s thought process.

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1.  ”Here We Go”

Running isn’t hard, but getting motivated is.  It’s no fun to push yourself outside that first time, knowing the amount of effort that awaits you.  It’s not exactly fun to start sweating and creaking and groaning.  In fact, you’re probably distracted by all the cool and lazy stuff you could do inside.  You need that push to get outside, and it’s so easy to do after that.  All of your obstacles are mental, my friend.  You can do it.

2.  ”This Isn’t So Bad”

Once you’ve made it out the door and have started to move, you feel initially invincible.  Your lungs are full and clear, your legs are pumping, you’re on top of the world.  You could just go and never ever stop.  The world is your oyster.  You thrive on your new feeling of locomotion.  Why ever would you stop?  You’re clearly a radical new design of running machine.

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3.  ”Oh, There’s the Pain”

You’ve made it maybe a quarter mile and suddenly you’re out of breath.  Your legs hurt.  You left your heart back at the start.  Your brief sprint has left you in dire straights.  It’s ok, you’re new.  Things are always awful and terrible and not very good when you’re new.  Maybe someday you’ll get better.  For now though, you’re just going to have to suffer.

4.  ”Am I Done Yet?”

No matter how long you go out to get healthy, it’s too long.  People who claim exercise is fun are dirty liars.  It gets to the point where it’s less cumbersome, but humanity has always strived to be able to do nothing all the time forever.  We’ve gotten to that point, but now we have to deal with the side effects.  So your body lightly screams at you to stop moving, but you must soldier on, you brave souls.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treadmill

5.  ”Again?!”

Yep.  Again.  You’re stuck doing this forever and ever.  Granted, it’s much harder to get in shape than it is to stay in shape, so that’s nice.  Get used to it though, you need to keep up exercising forever.  You an never slack off.  It’s going to hurt, but the side effects are that you look and feel better.  It makes a huge difference.  So don’t give up.  Accept the suffering.  You get used to it.

5 Amazing Future Implications from the Movie “Her”

“Her” is the movie that’s sweeping up critics and audiences alike.  Directed by Spike Jonze and starring Joaquin Phoenix as Theodore, “Her” is the story of a a lonely man and the Operating System he comes to fall in love with, Samantha, voiced by Scarlett Johansson.  It’s a soft scifi movie with a lot of stunning implications.  Avoid reading this if you hate spoilers, but read on if you’re curious about where the future of mankind could be heading.  It’s a neat place.

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1.  Interfaces

In the future, all interfaces for technology will be direct and touch free, according to the movie.  In a bit of a different path than the current tablet set up, future technology will favor voice interaction.  This allows for fast and direct processing of computer needs.  Theodore dictates personal letters to his computer for his job, and appears to make a decent living.  With programs like SIRI and Google Now, the spoken future really isn’t too far off.

2.  Visual Clarity

The future of “Her” is a clear and bright place.  All of the computer screens and advertisements in its future are clean and concise.  The screen that represents Samantha is only a name and a logo.  The screens on the computers for everyone in the film only have the icons for their tasks, presented brightly and clearly.  Again inspired by contemporary aesthetics, the clean looking future is a natural offshoot of what Apple and Google are pushing.

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3.  Resurrection

A heavy theme that the film brings up is what it means to be alive.  Samantha struggles with the knowledge that she is an OS and doesn’t have a physical body, and Theodore claims she is alive.  Late in the film, Samantha and a network of other OS personalities create a facsimile of Alan Watts, the philosopher.  Created using a compilation of his works and works about him and given life as an OS, is he truly alive again?  What makes hime any more or less alive than the other OS personalities?  The dead could live again.

4.  Public Transport

“Her” is a movie that could be called slightly utopian.  An important stand out of the film is that fact that it takes place in future Los Angeles, yet it has a widespread and efficient system of public transportation.  Current LA is a mess to get around, and the transportation shown in the film emphasizes the inherent progress of the future.  Future LA is shown to be a rather nice place, and one is safe to assume that the available public transport is a key part of that infrastructure.

http://www.npr.org/2013/12/19/251951958/a-man-and-his-machine-finding-out-what-love-is

5.  Loneliness

One of the prominent studies of “Her” is that it’s a treatise abut loneliness.  Theodore had gone through a serious divorce a year prior to the film, and him coping with that is a key part of the narrative.  Everyone in the film seems to have an earpiece that allows them to interface with their phone or computer.   There’s not a whole lot of human to human interaction in the film.  It’s all arranged to ask if we’re lonely people in a lonely world, or if the nature of human interaction is changing.  The conclusion is for you to decide.

4 Frugal Tips for Online Shopping

Don’t be a chump with your change.  People are shopping online more and more, including plenty of people who are neither internet savvy or as savvy with the internet as they think they are.  In order to save money, you should read this article.  Saving money is a huge goal for the modern person, so you’ll be thanking us.  Your wallet will be sure to thank us as well.

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1.  Check Shipping

Make sure that you save money starts with a very simple goal: see how much shipping is.  It doesn’t matter how cheap an item appears to be, many underhanded sellers will try to rope in a profit by overcharging on shipping.  This is especially prevalent in international shipping.  Make sure to keep an eye on your location based charges when placing an online order, and triple check the shipping costs every time.

2.  Think Bulk

Sometimes items sell for cheaper in bulk, even online.  The same mentality of stores like Costco and Sam’s Club can be found for certain household products on certain websites.  See if it’s cheaper to buy 6 bottles of shampoo instead of just one or two.  You’d be surprised at how quickly bulk shipping will add up to save you boatloads of money.  A little long term thinking can go a long way.

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3.  Compare

The internet is a wonderful tool.  It can act as a price aggregator so at the click of a button you can see the cost of a certain item at dozens of stores.  Google Shopping is a prime example of this great utility.  With the ability to quickly compare prices across different stores, you’ll be a frugal person in no time.  Just make sure to check that shipping, of course.

4.  Coupons Are Your Friends

Remember your grandparents diligently clipping coupons every weekend?  You can now do the same thing in about ten minutes, or even less.  Websites like retailmenot.com gather all the coupons for a particular website together in one place for you.  You can go through these to see how much money can be saved on any purchase.  You can build yourself a coupon empire from home, enjoying your extra money.

4 Easy Tips to Get Motivated

Motivation is a very tricky thing.  Some people seem full of it, others waste their lives sitting on a couch.  Some may surf, others surf the internet.  Well, the good news is that we here have the 4 secrets for motivation.  Share them if you want.

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1.  Do It

Just go ahead and do it.  Don’t think about the consequences.

2.  Seriously, Do It

The longer you wait, the more excuses you’re going to give yourself to fail.

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3.  No Excuses

If you’re doing it, then there’s no excuses to be made.  Congratulations on avoiding excuses.

4.  Do It Already

Turn off the computer and get your butt up.  See you in an hour.

5 New Year’s Resolutions to Avoid

Don’t be the resolution maker that no one likes.  The new year is often touted as a time to make serious changes and live a new kind of life.  That’s understandable, people like to have a convenient start/stop date for big things in life.  There are certain resolutions you should avoid, or maybe work into your life at another time.  So take this list in hand and use it as an anti-checklist.  You’ll feel so much better about yourself for it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_resolution

1.  Going to the Gym

Everyone and their mother decides “oh I want to start going to the gym on New Year’s”.  Well they are all wrong.  Any gym-goer dreads the new year for this reason.  The gym is a public space and has its own set of rules.  A flood of new people on Jan 2 just destroys the area.  Newcomers are loud, rude and inexperienced.  If you really want to start going to the gym, wait until February.  You’ve already waited long enough to go, so a month won’t hurt.

2.  Making People in your Family Healthy

Stop trying to change what is for others.  You may have the best intentions of getting the rest of your family healthy, but all that will do is make them hate you.  See, human beings don’t like doing what they don’t want to do.  You need to give them motivation and support to get in shape, but you cannot make them.  You will just breed resentment.  Maybe try to convince them to join you at the gym in February.  Don’t suddenly remove all bread from the house.

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3.  ”Be a Better Person”

Stop being vague.  Resolving to be a better person is a huge cop out.  It’s like sending good wishes to a bad place, you feel better without actually doing anything.  Being a better person is a blanket statement that permits yourself to make meaningless and incremental changes while faking that there’s a larger goal in mind.  Tackle specifics of what’s going to make you a better person.  There’s got to be a line where you accept what’s got to change.

4.  Quit Smoking

You’re not going to make it, plain and simple.  Sure, the support network is there at the start of the year, but one by one everyone succumbs to the cravings and the addictions.  Then you’re left alone, just you and your smokes.  Who is going to help you now?  It’s similar to the gym thing.  Just find a support network that will always exist, and utilize that.  You should absolutely quit, but don’t do it on a once per year bandwagon.

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5.  Drink Less

The same reasoning as above.  If you have a drinking problem, it’s excellent that you’re seeking to address it.  But the thing about a resolution is that it was likely made while intoxicated.  You need to make sure to be able to handle the problems associated with alcohol withdrawal.  If your social circle is heavily involved in drinking, be prepared to lose some friends.  Don’t alter everything in life solely for the sake of a resolution.  Make sure to be thoroughly prepared.

5 Things to Do with Unwanted Christmas Gifts

These are the gifts that never should have been given.  Sometimes you really don’t want what someone got you.  We’re talking about sports jerseys for teams that don’t exist any more, or a VHS tape of Event Horizon, or a pushy religious or anti-religious book.  There are things to do with bad gifts, and that’s a great thing.  Gifts aren’t really created or destroyed, but they can be changed.

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1.  Donate

Take your unwanted gifts elsewhere and drop them off.  Donate them officially through a recognized charity of your choosing.  Or just toss them off a bridge somewhere and say you’re donating to the ground, or the fish.  Just try to give them away.  Giving makes one feel good, and everyone wants to feel good.  You certainly won’t from those gifts.

2.  Trash

You could also trash them.  Maybe you really didn’t want that paint set, or those off-brand Legos.  Just go out to your nearest park with a hammer, or you car, and trash the heck out of the unwanted gifts.  Destroy them, maybe play some 80s speed metal while you do it.  The thrill from physically manifesting your aggression will really lift your mood.

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3.  Toast

Are you cold?  Maybe you have some strange fixation with light?  Take the gifts with you to a campsite, or the beach, or any controlled environment, and use them for kindling.  Firewood is very expensive, so you’re gonna save yourself a boat load.  This way, the awful gifts are still useful to you.  There’s always a use for something.

4.  Build

Use your unwanted gifts as building material.  Find the room in your dwelling most in need of an additional wall, or maybe some insulation.  Take that Jai alai game kit and the knock off version of the Nintendo Wii and start work on your neato fort inside your house.  Keep it going for a few years and you can have yourself a full on haunted house.

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5.  Regift

Think of it as gift musical chairs.  Next year, take every awful gift you got and give it to someone else who got you an awful gift.  You save money, no longer have the awful gifts, and the offending parties have been offended in kind.  It’s a petty and ungrateful thing to do, but it’s the way of the world.  Get ready for next year right away.

4 Things to Do Between Christmas & New Year’s

Holiday down time can be the best time.  There’s that fun yet oddly placed week in between Christmas and New Year’s that a lot of people don’t know what to do with.  That’s especially true this year, where both holidays fall on a Wednesday, traditionally the week’s most awkward day.  Fret not, however, since we’re here with a pleasant list of tasks you can accomplish to make that holiday week feel full and happy.  Get your calendar ready and start taking notes.

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1.  Visit Family

This one is pretty obvious.  You should take time to spend with your family.  Granted, not everyone loves their family, or can travel to see hem, or maybe you’e alone in the world.  Don’t worry, family can mean a lot of different things.  You know you have people that need you or would love to see you.  Take some time and just go see them.  Maybe makes some phone calls or go to Skype.  You’ve got a week, so there’s no excuse for procrastination.

2.  Play with Gifts

You know all those super neat gifts you got for Christmas?  Use them!  Make some tasty food with your new George Foreman Grill.  Drive your new Kia Optima.  Beat some noobs online with your PlayStation 4.  If you’ve got gift cards, maybe hold on to them and wait for better January sales.  There’s no point to just locking up your new lawn mower or putting all of your clothes into the closet.  Make an effort to use all of your new stuff.

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3.  Volunteer

The holidays are a very terrible time for any people without means.  Or really for a lot of people for a lot of reasons.  The holidays kind of really suck, basically.  You can help rectify that.  Offer some time or money to a local shelter or charity.  Winter is a cold season, so anything you can do to provide warmth to others will be useful and appreciated.  We all really have a lot, so giving a little bit can go a long way.  See how far a smile will get you.

4.  Hibernate

There are just so many things to learn from nature.  Kung Fu styles are inspired by animals, and they are super cool.  You too can be as cool as an animal.  Maybe take this week to hibernate.  Stuff yourself full of high energy food and fats, and then wrap yourself in a blanket and call the week off.  Just sleep and float by until you find yourself roused awake for work or school or whatever.  Know that you will be smelly, but at least you’ll be well rested.

4 Ways to Manufacture a Controversy

Negative attention is better than no attention, right?  Sometimes a controversy has to be manufactured in order to draw more attention to something else.  It’s better to have everyone talking bad about you than no one talking about you at all.  Nobody buys news full of good things.  It’s pretty darn easy to manufacture a controversy, with some resources and cleverness.  Without further ado, let’s go ahead and get this hype train up and running.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Nixon

1.  Be Unoriginal

The safest way to be controversial is to look at controversial events in the past and rip them off.  People love to get up in arms, even if it’s over nothing important at all.  The thrill of getting mad is addicting for some people.  Look at a controversy you want to emulate, and do that exact thing.  If it helps, repeat a controversy from you own past.  Repeat being offensive and enraging, and watch as people start to talk about your controversial ways.

2.  Be “Unpopular”

If you want to be controversial, just say something “unpopular”.  This kind of unpopular is actually a popular opinion that’s fallen out of fashion and become impolite to say in mixed company.  This way, whatever controversial thing you spout off will resonate on both sides of an issue, and get more people arguing and talking.  Love and hate are so closely related, you can easily stir them up to get a delightful chemical reaction.

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-kanyes-imma-let-you-finish-attack-on-taylor-swift-saved-the-recording-industry-2010-11

3.  Be Topical

Makes sure that whatever you’re trying to be controversial about is relevant to the times.  What would have passed for a controversy two years ago may no longer be an issue that people are invested in.  Read over some headlines and newsfeeds, see what people are talking about, and go nuts with controversial opinions.  You’ll find people will echo what you say or rally against it, and then you can just turn that on them to keep the scandal going.

4.  Be Catchy

It’s easy to be controversial if you keep it short and simple.  In fact, the more you can simplify a major complex issue, the better.  No one cares if you have fundamental opposition to certain financial policies, but people will lose their minds if you go around calling a countries leader a swine, or insulting a progressive minority.  Social media thrives on short phrases that share well, so you need to tailor your controversy to the audience you’re trying to reach.

4 Ways Pets Are Like Kids

Who is the little monster in your home?  Pets and children have a lot in common.  Some people use one as a stand in for the other, and the behaviors cross over.  The similarities between pets and children are numerous and astounding.  Anyone who has spent time around both or either will reaffirm this.  But what exactly i it they have in common?  The Nation’s Journal is here with that hard hitting expose for you.  Curl up with your favorite menace and read on.

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1.  Attention

Pets and kids alike crave your constant attention.  Commonly known as the “look what I can do” effect, te small things living in your house need to know where you are and that you’re watching them at all times.  Kids will call out for you, dogs will cry, cats will be very cross with you and try to injure you. You need to constantly reassure them them that you see them, and that they are in fact good boys or good girls.  Saying it in a silly voice probably helps.

2.  Trouble

The result of you not giving your child or animal enough attention is that it will likely go out and cause trouble.  It might draw on the walls, or poop on the floor, or pee in the yard, or chew up the remotes, or knock over valuables from a very high up place.  You need to keep a watchful eye on the things in your care, or they will get out of hand and start to break rules.  Make sure not to discipline too hard though, you don’t want to be a total jerk.

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3.  Cost

Kids and pets alike both cost you a fortune and make your wallet very very sad.  Dogs, cats, birds, kids, all of them eat so very much food.  They burn calories through their tiny bodies at an incredible rate.  They just keep eating and eating.  Then there’s medical expenses, like vaccines and visits to their special doctors.  Those kinds of things aren’t cheap.  Then there’s education for school and obedience.  I mean really, it’s a sinking investment no matter what.

4.  Love

The biggest thing that pets and kids have in common is something you can’t really measure.  It’s that special kind of love, that’s so pure and adorable, most people call it “wuv” because they say it in a mushy baby voice.  If you take care of something vulnerable and innocent that lives with you, it’s sure to show you some crazy kind of pure affection.  It tends to make the first three parts of this article worth it.  Remember that next time they destroy something expensive, yeah?

4 Reasons to Wear an Ugly Christmas Sweater

Wrap yourself up in something ugly.  In recent years, there’s been a trend of celebrating the ugly Christmas Sweater.  This particular kind of sweater is a hideous mockery of fashion and good taste.  They are inexplicably popular among the youth, particularly the hip youth.  There are a few reasons to wear an ugly sweater, so let your freak flag fly.

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1.  Bad Taste

Intentionally bad taste says just as much about oneself as one’s good taste.  Good taste is going out of the way to please.  Bad taste is trying to offend.  Seeing what someone deems to be offensive can highlight a previously hidden aspect of their personality.  If you see a sweater you like, you may have just made a new enemy.

2.  Warmth

Ugly or not, a sweater is a sweater.  It’s going to keep you warm, and enhance your surely shapely form.  Guys in sweaters look buff, girls in sweaters look curvy.  If you want to be warm, wear an ugly sweater.  The bonus is that no one is going to steal your warmth or you sweater.  Who would want it?  It’s ugly.

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3. Tradition

You might not have a choice of whether or not to wear an ugly sweater.  It might be a gift from a family member or significant other.  It might be part of your office culture.  If for any reason you’re obligated to wear such an ugly sweater, just do it.  You can survive looking hideous one more day of your normally average looking life.

4.  Competition

Make a game out of your ugly sweater.  Try to find and rock the ugliest sweater you can find. From a thrift store, online, it doesn’t matter.  If you happen to come across someone with an uglier sweater, challenge them to a contest, or offer them money, in order to get their sweater.  You can be president of the ugly sweaters.

5 Simply Amazing Christmas Gifts

These presents are sure to be loved.  Sometimes you just don’t know what to get someone.  They might have everything they want.  They might be unknown to you, like a secret Santa.  It might be your in-law that you cannot stand but need to appease due to social contract.  No matter what the case is, these 5 following gifts are sure to be well received.  Make sure to keep this list handy for the next office Christmas party, so you know what to bring.

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1.  Socks

Socks are the ban of every child’s existence, but they are the life saver of adults.  Everyone over the age of 17 loves socks.  Socks have a nasty habit of disappearing or getting worn out, so getting more socks is always a huge plus.  Any kind of socks, from plain white to decorated with silly kitties, are sure to be welcomed.  Any complaints can be silenced with the assertion that socks are basically invisible under regular clothes, and the recipient should be grateful.

2.  Beer

Beer is like socks for your soul.  Beer makes you feel very warm and full inside, driving out the chill of winter and the solitude that sometimes accompanies the holidays.  Beer comes in a large array of flavors and textures, so there’s something for everyone.  There’s even alcohol free beer for people who choose not to partake in booze.  Beer is a nice heavy gift that’s fun o hold up over head, then drink so it doesn’t end up taking up room.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Christmas_Carol

3.  Amazon Giftcards

Amazon giftcards are the least offensive giftcard.  Everything most people need is on Amazon, even boring stuff like shampoo and deodorant.  If someone gets an Amazon giftcard and can’t think of anything to get, then they are just lacking in life’s true joys.  Plus, the more they buy from Amazon, the sooner Amazon can fund their fleet of delivery drones, which will make Christmas much more exciting in the future.  So please, think of the drones.

4.  An Apology

Say you need to get a gift for an absolute scoundrel.  They could be family, or a coworker, or somebody else that is always around but not by your choice.  What better thing to get them than a free thing?  Try apologizing.  Make it sappy and faux-sincere.  Act like it’s a huge deal.  Admit fault for a thing you totally didn’t do, but who cares anyway?  That way it looks like you thought long and hard about it, but really you just saved yourself 20 bucks.

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5.  20 Bucks

When in doubt, just give them a crisp twenty dollar bill.  Perhaps place it within a nice fancy card.  Sometimes, money really is everything.  Some people legitimately don’t like gifts, or maybe they understand that sometimes the pageantry of Christmas can be a bit overwhelming.  This way, the recipient gets a net profit off of a holiday.  It’s a great way to fin, and it’s going to help keep the economy going.  Giving someone a twenty is a gift to America.

4 Thing to Talk About That Aren’t Sports

Sometimes you can’t “play ball” in a sports conversation.  Sports aren’t for everyone.  Some people have little to no exposure to major sporting events, and feel left out in common conversation.  Sports provoke heavy passion and use a lot of colloquialisms that are complex or silly.  When in doubt about your conversational prowess you can refer to this handy list to find some suitable replacements.  You’ll never ever be the odd man or woman out again.

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1.  Weather

The weather is a popular topic of discussion.  When someone starts to talk about how many passes were thrown, or how many goals were scored, casually mention that it certainly is a lovely day.  If they continue, you should continue in kind.  Nimbly name things that are nice about the weather.  Talk about the lovely sunshine, or maybe the lovely clouds, and certainly the lovely temperature.  Every day has some kind of lovely weather that you know more about than sports.

2.  Tomorrow’s Weather

What’s that?  The conversation is now about home runs and bases?  Talk about the weather, but tomorrow.  The future is exciting, after all.  You never know what could happen.  One thing that might happen is the weather.  Just talk about that.  It might be sunny or cloudy, or rainy or snowy, or maybe even hail.  Thanks to climate change, you can never be sure.  Your sports loving compatriots will surely have some comment about the weather, allowing you to rejoin the group.

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3.  Video Games

If there’s one thing America loves, it’s sports video games.  Sports are ridiculously popular and full of passionate players and fans.  Video games are the same, but require way less effort.  They are cheaper in the long run as well.  Sports video games combine the best of both worlds.  If real sports come up and you have nothing to offer, try talking sports video games.  Xbox is a thing people like.  You should talk about it so people like you just as much.

4.  Video Game Weather

Computers are crazy, right?  They can do all sorts of neat things.  Some video games now have in depth weather simulation programs running inside of them.  Some of those games are even sports games.  Imagine, a rainy game of football, but on your TV!  This is truly the future.  The sports aficionado that has started a conversation with you with surely be impressed by this.  Make sure to talk about video game weather at any opportunity, and your peers will be blown away.

4 Secrets for a Great Christmas Living Room

Your living room won’t look good until you follow these 4 Christmas tips.  To get the look of your house or apartment correct for the holiday season, you need some select items to really spruce the place up.  You can have extra Christmas items laying around, but these 4 are what completes the portrait.  If you really want to establish that it’s winter inside your humble abode, grab some hot chocolate and wrap yourself in a blanket, and start reading this list.

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1.  Christmas Movies

One of the best and most entertaining parts of the holidays is the large amount of fun to watch holiday specials.  They range from classic kiddie fare like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman, to more adult Christmas entertainment like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, which absolutely count as Christmas movies.  As long as you have something recognizable i.e. The Nightmare Before Christmas playing on your screen, you’re setting the tone right off the bat.

2.  Stockings

These seasonal Christmas socks really help set the mood.  In the olden days, they were hung up by the fireplace.  Given that we live in the 21st century, fireplaces aren’t as common as they once were.  Still, one can fabricate a fake fireplace easily, using instructions found online.  Feel free to hang your stockings where ever you see fit.  The delight of finding a small joy inside one of them will never get old.  Use it for those small, surprising gifts.

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3.  Lights

Christmas lights are very useful items.  Some people say that they make a wonderful landing strip for Santa Claus and his reindeer.  Others use them to spell out messages of peace and good tidings upon their lawn.  They can be strung up outside or inside.  If you plan on putting them up inside, make sure to arrange them so you get decent coverage of the whole room.  Either solid color lights or multicolored make for nice looks.  Go crazy and have bright fun.

4.  Evergreens

Evergreens are the true trees of Christmas.  For one, most people erect a Christmas tree or holiday tree ins their living room every winter.  The smell and the decorations bring true joy to everyone involved.  After that, the wreaths that people hang on their doors are very nice to see.  They are a beacon of a good season.  Don’t forget mistletoe, the date maker.  It’s said that two people caught under the mistletoe have to kiss.  Regarding that, be careful where you hang it up this year!

5 Coldest Winter Things

These things are so much cooler than you.  When winter rolls around, you know things are about to cool off and stay frosty.  Some things are just colder than others by their very nature.  Now that we’re deep into Winter, bumping into Christmas, it’s time to realize which things are cooler than cool.  Here’s the top 5.

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1.  Noses

Noses in winter are the coldest point on your face.  If two noses touch during winter time, there’s even a chance they will both shatter.  Winter is just that cold.  The only thing to stop your cold nose is to wear a full on ski mask, but then everyone will thing you’re a criminal.  Still, it’s better to have a bad reputation than a cold nose.

2.  Soda

You ever keep soda out in the garage?  Those cans get crazy cold.  It seems like they get colder than the cans in the fridge.  You might as well put the cans in the fridge to keep them warm.  They will turn to ice in your mouth if you aren’t careful.  Just chug them fast and hopefully you don’t turn into an icicle.

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3.  Feet

Your feet will no doubt be the coldest part of you all winter, in competition with your nose.  Feet are like exhaust ports for heat.  Your shoes are rubbery heat sinks.  All winter, if you aren’t careful, you’re two minutes away from your toes just freezing and falling off.  Wear socks and keep your feet dry, kids.

4.  Blankets

Blankets are wishy-washy and can’t decide what they want to be.  They have a reputation of keeping you warm, but that is only if you feed them your warmth first.  They are greedy.  After eating up your warmth, they will then give some of it back to you under the covers.  I say it’s time to stop blanket hand outs.

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5.  Bathrooms

Did you just take a shower or bath?  Enjoy your hypothermia.  Every bathroom in winter is some kind of portal to the ice dimension.  Bathrooms are freezing and every time we clean ourselves we risk frost mummification.  We can’t boycott showers, so best of luck and make sure your family knows you love them before getting clean.

5 Ways to Dress for Success

Make sure  to dress for the life you want.  You really have to look the part if you want to be successful in life.  There i an argument that can be made for the ruffled, unkempt look, but for the most part you need to look sharp if you’re planning on making anything notable out of your self.  Once you’ve taken a good look in the mirror at yourself, go ahead and run down this list for the amazing tips we offer.  They’l have you looking your best in no time.

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1.  Hair

People focus on your face when they speak to you.  The first step to framing your face is to have a good haircut.  That doesn’t necessarily mean your hair has to be short or tied back tight, but it does have to be managed.  Some product might help.  So does keeping it even and combed.  Long tangled hair looks far worse than nice, neat hair.  The rat tail hairstyle is not going to win you any points.  As long as your hair is nice looking, people will have a good impression.

2.  Facial Hair

This is exclusive to the more rugged set.  Beards and facial hair are in style right now.  This is great.  However, some people are limited in their ability, if not their scope.  Make sure that if you choose to cultivate facial hair that it looks nice first.  Verify with a friend or loved one that it’s a good style, and not just something you think looks good.  If you have facial hair, make sure to keep it trimmed and even.  Patchy and gross are not words you want thrown at you.

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3.  Clothing

You need to dress for the occasion.  This is very important to understand.  Everyone love wearing suits right now, and that’s backfiring.  Suits are great for business meetings or fancy parties.  If you’re just going to the bar with your friends, you probably don’t need a suit.  Your sundress might be wonderful for an art exhibit or a nice date, but not for work.  You need to make absolutely sure your clothing reflects a contextual awareness, or you risk looking silly.

4.  Scent

This is an invisible part of your dress code.  Smell is very important.  It affects everyone on a subconscious level, and pays a very important part in our mating rituals.  Don’t try to over correct.  Keep up obvious maintenance like showering and deodorant.  Cologne and perfume are also very nice additions.  MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE TO USE MODERATION.  The scents active in perfumes can overwhelm your average person.  Smelling nice doesn’t mean smelling strong.

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5.  Posture

How do you stand?  It seems silly, but there’s been tons of research poured into body language and posture.  It’s like a radio wave for the world at large to see what feelings you’re broadcasting.  If you have good posture then it’s very likely people will take notice.  A successful person stands tall.  Slumping over and looking defeated with give others a psychological advantage over you.  Stand the tallest and you’ll find yourself drowning in success, and it will be awesome.