Saturday, October 26, 2013

Hoverboard Blues: 4 Crazy Side Effects of Time Travel

We're living in the future.  It's crazier than any future that was imagined by our greatest authors in the last century.  We have phones that also contain all the information ever created, ever.  Our cars are going to be self driving in a matter of a few years.  One thing we don't yet have is time travel.  Made famous in works like The Time Machine, Back to the Future, and Terminator, time travel ha been a scifi dream for a very long time.  Honestly, it's a good thing we don't have it yet.  There are so many unforeseen consequences people don't think about.  Here's a few side effects you probably didn't consider.
1.  Space
First of all, time travel would be dangerous because of the movement of the universe.  It's hard to comprehend, but we are such a very small part of the universe.  So small in fact, that we're always moving and never know it.  If you were to move in time, there's no guarantee you'd be in the same place you were when you started.  You could wind up just floating in the empty vacuum of space.  Since there have yet to be any documented successful time travel attempts, we're not sure of the physics.  So, if you intend to time travel, wear a space suit first.  You'll thank me.
2.  Messing with the Timestream
No matter how hard you try in life, you're going to make mistakes.  That's a constant.  So when you add in the power to mess up at any point in history, that becomes a danger cocktail.  Imagine you time travel to either the past or the future.  You already put everything in incredible danger.  If you mess up in the past, New Coke could have become permanent.  Seinfeld could have been canceled after its first season.  It could be disaster.  You mess up in the future, and you change it.  You could not come back, never have kids, never do anything.  Something you are supposed to do could have made the world better.  Time travel is just selfish.
3.  Aging
The thing about time travel is that even though your environment changes its age, you don't.  You're always continually aging, even if you go back in time.  Essentially, every time you time travel, you're shortening your lifespan by however long you were gone.  That also will raise questions every time you return.  Your friends and family will notice you aging at a rapid rate.  If you come back from the future, you may have contracted some crazy incurable future disease.  If you get stuck before coming back to your present, you may have wasted years of your life.  Time travel safe, people.
4.  Unknown Areas
No one knows the fabric the universe is made of.  Theories about about quantum physics, or strings, or alternate universes, among others.  As such, time travel might have an immeasurable effect that you can't comprehend.  There's a theory that every time you make a decision, you create alternate universes where you chose differently.  So, what if time travel is nothing more than cheating in a life-size "choose your own adventure" book?  What if time traveling destroys those universes?  You don't even know what you're doing!  Take the safe course, and just say no to time travel.

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